ALIVE

I felt alive again tonight.

While I was crying,
I felt alive.

While I was screaming into my pillow,
I felt alive.

While I realized my Big brother was dead,

As this pain rent my soul,
as this pain wended my soul,

I felt ALIVE.

Nothing has made sense for a while,
Nothing seemed real.

I could see no good reason,
Not even to move.

But as I mourned - as I mourned,
That made sense.

As I cried,
I understood that my tears had purpose.

As I muffled the noise of my pain,
I saw the meaning in that.

While my wife held me,
I found meaning in her touch.

I chose to let it out,
And I feel alive.